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Your Relationship With God

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This week, a young lady asked me a familiar question, one that I had also asked before: How can I know if I have a relationship with God? Christians talk a lot about the importance of a relationship with God. As we should—it is the source of eternal life: “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3). Still, with all of our emphasis on a relationship, we are often left wondering if we have one.

One reason why we struggle is that we don’t know what we’re supposed to be looking for. What does a relationship with God look like? Interestingly, the Bible doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all, formulaic type of relationship that all must have with God. In fact, the Bible uses several types of human relationships to describe our relationship with God. 

Different Types of Relationships

One of the more common relationship comparisons is between husband and wife, or bride and groom (Isaiah 62:5, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 19:6–9). Another is the father/ parent and child relationship (1 John 3:1, Hebrews 12:7, Luke 13:34). The Bible also uses friendship (Isaiah 41:8, James 2:23), and brothers (Matthew 28:10, John 20:17). Other, less common relationships (at least we do not always view these as relationships) is the healer and patient relationship (Exodus 15:26, Psalm 30:2, 103:3, Jeremiah 33:6) and our relationship with God as our Savior (2 Samuel 22:3, Jeremiah 17:14; Luke 2:11, 2 Timothy 1:10).

Why use so many different types of relationships rather than just one to reveal what God truly wants? Doesn’t God want, and expect, the same relationship with everyone? From my studies, this is my conclusion: More than anything, God wants a relationship with each one of us, but He does not expect the same relationship from us.

Not All The Same

Let me explain. I have met many Christians who struggle with viewing God as their Father. Why? For some, their father was abusive; for others, their father was absent. Either way, they did not have a good relationship with their earthly father so they didn’t know how to have such a relationship with God. Sadly, some gave up because they thought that was the only relationship they could have with God.

A lady recently expressed her desire to have a passionate loving relationship with God. She knew she loved God but didn’t know why she couldn’t have the passion she had witnessed in other people’s lives. I asked her if she had ever had a relationship like that with another person. She said she had, but it had burned her. Her previous bad experience was keeping her from having a deeper, more passionate relationship with God.

What Can You Give?

You see, the Bible uses these different types of relationships to describe what God wants with us because He knows that we are not all capable of having the same relationship with Him. Each of us has experienced good and bad relationships. Some of those bad experiences have damaged us to the point where it can be difficult, if not impossible, to trust enough to try such a relationship again. Whatever you can give, though, is what God wants.

Maybe you’ve never had a good friend, but you have a wonderful relationship with your brother—then God wants to be your Brother. Maybe your marriage was miserable and full of conflict and pain, but you have a wonderful relationship with your parents—then God wants to be your Parent. Whatever positive relationship you cherish the most here, God wants to have with you. 

Start Somewhere

Consider the thief on the cross (see Luke 23:40–43). What kind of relationship could he have had with Jesus? Yet, he was promised paradise. At best he was an acquaintance. However, at some point, while hanging on the cross next to Jesus, he was convinced Jesus was someone greater than himself. His request to Jesus to “remember me when you come into your kingdom,” revealed the beginning of a servant–master relationship. It may not have been much, but it was a start.

What about you? Do you have a desire to have a relationship with God? That’s a start! Then just do the things you do to build any other relationship: talk to Him, listen to Him, spend time with Him, etc. If you are doing these things with God, then you have a relationship with Him.

Could we all end up with the same type of relationship with God? Will we all, someday, be able to experience Him as Father, or Husband, or Friend? It’s possible—when we are in heaven and God is able to fully show us what a good father, husband, and friend can be. Until then, we may be limited by our bad relationships and can only give God our brokenness. The good news is that God will accept whatever you can give. It may not look like everyone else’s relationship, but it doesn’t have to—it’s yours.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Spiritual Gift or Natural Talent?

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I wrote in my previous post about the Gifts of the Spirit, and the question came up: How can we tell the difference between a Spiritual gift and a natural talent? I thought that others may wonder about this as well, so I will share what I have learned from my studies.

The Bible does not really discuss or make a list of natural talents (I’m sure such a list would be huge). But, as we previously learned, the spiritual gifts are only found in three of Paul’s letters: Romans 12:6–8, 1 Corinthians 12:7–10, and Ephesians 4:11. The gifts listed in these three passages are the only ones called spiritual gifts in the Bible. This does not mean there could not be more, but only that those mentioned are the only ones verified by the Bible. Those passages alone can help us narrow down the differences between what are gifts and what are talents.

Given versus learned

However, there are other ways to tell them apart. For instance, as with any gift, a spiritual gift cannot be purchased or learned. We cannot take classes to learn a spiritual gift. We cannot become certified in any of the gifts. God gives them to us after we receive the Holy Spirit, and only when they are needed. Talents are abilities given to us at birth or learned throughout life. They exist in our lives because of our genetic makeup or because we chose to study them. We can hone a talent which tend to focus more on technique. Natural abilities make it easier for a person to perfect a talent.

Of course, since you can be born with a talent, or learn and perfect a talent, they depend our our own power and ability. Spiritual gifts, however, have to do with spiritual abilities and depend on God’s power. The Spirit provides them when our natural abilities are not enough.

Difference in their purpose

The biggest difference, though, is their purpose. Natural talents may benefit us personally and can be used (and often are) outside of a relationship with God. In fact, a natural talent is not guaranteed to be used for God. We can use them for any purpose. We can use our talents for God’s glory or personal glory; to lead or to deceive; for good or for evil. But Peter reveals the purpose of spiritual gifts in 1 Peter 4:10: “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” Spiritual gifts are given solely for the purpose of serving others. God gives us these gifts so we can distribute His grace to the world.

Paul further explains, in Ephesians 4:12, 13, that the gifts are “to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature.” Spiritual gifts are also meant to build each other up spiritually. Their purpose is to increase faith and knowledge of Jesus. This is why the Spirit grants the gift of wisdom, the gift of faith, the gift of tongues, and all of the other gifts. The Gifts of the Spirit are not meant for (and will not be used for) self-promotion or personal gratification.

Both can be used for God

I’m not saying that natural talents are bad and only the spiritual gifts are good. God is the source of our natural abilities as well. And remember, we can use our natural talents for God. Someone born with the natural talent of music may find that God perfects and sanctifies it with the presence of the Holy Spirit. God can bless our abilities when they are used for His glory. Even greater, God may choose to give a spiritual gift to complement a natural talent a person already has. 

Yes, there is a clear difference between a spiritual gift and a natural talent. Basically, if you are a natural at it, it is not a spiritual gift. If you can learn it at a weekend seminar, it is not a spiritual gift. If it only promotes you and is meant to bring you glory, it is not a gift from God’s spirit. Still, even though there is a difference between them, both can be used for God’s glory. That’s the only thing that matters. So, like the Gifts of the Spirit, if you have a natural, God-given talent, use it for God!

Photo by Kira auf der Heide

Spiritual Gifts

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It doesn’t matter the occasion—birthday, anniversary, Christmas, a reward, or “just because”—receiving a gift is usually a joyful experience. Gifts may be given tightly wrapped in fancy paper, in a nice gift bag, with a simple bow, or even simply by “closing your eyes and holding out your hands.” When there are multiple gifts, people often look like they are going through the produce section in the grocery store—poking, prodding, and shaking—hoping to learn a bit about what is hidden inside. Typically, there is excitement surrounding gifts; a delight for both the one receiving and the one giving.

Photo by Jess Watters

It is no surprise to learn that God desires to give us gifts (Luke 11:13)—eternal life itself is a gift! Yet, when God gives to His children, He loves to “open the floodgates.” For example, not only does God give us the gift of the Holy Spirit, but He also provides additional gifts through the Spirit. We call them “spiritual gifts.” Unfortunately, there’s a lot of misinformation about these gifts. So I went back to the Bible, set aside what I thought I knew, and studied about them.

Gifts of the Spirit

Paul writes about them in three of his letters (Romans 12:6–8, 1 Corinthians 12:7–10, and Ephesians 4:11). These are the gifts he mentions: apostleship, prophesying, evangelizing, pastoring, teaching, serving, encouraging, contributing to the needs of others, leadership, showing mercy, wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, and tongues and their interpretation. This is quite a list! As gifts, though, none of these can be earned, or purchased, or learned.

The phrase “gifts of the Spirit” helps us to understand that these gifts come to us after we have made a commitment to Christ and have received God’s Spirit. We receive the promise of the outpouring of the Spirit when we are baptized (Acts 2:38). It is after this point that we would expect to receive any further gifts from the Spirit.

Are the gifts reserved only for the leadership of the church or other specially chosen people? Or can we all receive them? Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 12:11, “All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.” In Hebrews 2:4 we read that the gifts of the Spirit are “distributed according to His will.” Romans 12:6 says, “We have different gifts according to the grace given us.” Basically, they are available to everyone but God is the one who decides who gets what.

Finding Your Gift?

How do we go about finding out which one(s) we’ve been given? Some claim that everyone will get the same gift, so we only need to look for one. However, the passages we just read show that God gives out different gifts as He determines. There’s no passage in scripture that says we will all receive the same gift. Besides, a gift is not the evidence of the Spirit in a person’s life, the fruit is.

Others will suggest that we just fill out a questionnaire and hope it will reveal our gifts. While they can be helpful, there is a weakness in those tests: us. We have the ability to test ourselves into a gift. In other words, we can answer the questions based on who we wished we were rather than who we really are. Besides, was that how the early church learned their gifts?

Revealed When Following

We won’t find a formula for a spiritual gifts inventory in the book of Acts. They learned what their gift was by seeing it revealed in their lives. This is because spiritual gifts are revealed in those who are diligently following and obeying Christ. They are given whenever God’s people need to be built up (Ephesians 4:12, 13); whenever people need to grow in faith or in the knowledge of the Son of God. The gifts are given to us to compensate for our inadequacies when we are doing God’s will.

In other words, you must be actively following Jesus to find your gift. You will never learn what your gift is by sitting in a pew—you have to be out working for the Kingdom of Heaven. Then, when you are in a situation where a gift is needed it will show up.

Furthermore, whatever your gift is, you will discover God’s blessing as you use it. A broken heart is encouraged; a sad heart finds hope; a prodigal son returns to Jesus; a seeker begins to understand Biblical truths. Other people will benefit—they’ll grow spiritually—when a gift is used.

According to His wisdom, God will give us a gift as they are needed. We don’t have to have all of the gifts. We don’t all need to have the same gift. But, if God calls us to do something that is beyond our abilities, He will grant us a gift from His Spirit to complete it. Then, as Peter wrote, “Each one should use whatever gift he has received…” (1 Peter 4:10).

Fishing Without Jesus

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I heard a question recently that concerned me: how much of what Christians do still depends on Christ? Another way to ask it is this: Is Jesus still the center of Christianity, or is He just a bystander? 

It concerns me because in the letter to the church of Laodicea (Revelation 3:14–22), Jesus reveals a group of God’s people who think everything is fine, but its not. The reason? He is not inside; He’s no longer a part of their church (Revelation 3:20 – the reason for His knocking). Therefore, according to Jesus, a church that is no longer reliant on Him is not only a possibility, it’s a reality. Sadly, we can get to a point where our religion is less CHRISTianity and more CHURCHianity—more about us than about God.

If we’ll be honest with ourselves, much of Christianity in developed countries resembles this Laodicean attitude. More often than not, it seems that a lot of what we do is something of our own creation and has no reliance on the power and authority of Jesus. Our worship services are typically tailored to the people we hope will attend rather than focussing on the God who deserves our worship. Ministries in our churches often come from brain storming committee meetings rather than time spent in prayer. Even our evangelistic efforts have become well-practiced strategies of persuasion rather than organic testimonies about our experiences with Jesus.

The Bible gives us two clear examples of why we shouldn’t try to do these things on our own. They’re fishing stories.

photo by Fredrik Ohlander

Fishing with Jesus, part 1 (Luke 5:1–6)

Jesus was teaching on the shore of the sea of Galilee when the crowd grew too large and forced Him into one of the boats nearby. They pushed off a little from the shore and He continued teaching. When He was finished, He turned to the boat’s captain, Simon Peter, and told him to go further out and cast out his nets. Simon argued that they had already been out—all night, even—and didn’t catch a thing. However, since Jesus was the one asking, he obeyed. As soon as he cast them out, the nets filled with fish. So many that the nets began to break! They even called their other boat to help but, because of the amount of fish, both boats began to sink. Wow.

What strikes me about this story is not just how many fish they caught, but Jesus’ comment about it to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men” (Luke 5:10). The whole purpose of Jesus’ demonstration of His power and authority was to prepare Simon, and the others, to trust Him in ministry. Jesus would be sending them out to do the impossible: create more disciples of Jesus. However, with Jesus in the boat, their fishing would be sure!

Fishing with Jesus, part 2 (John 21:3–6)

I don’t think it was by chance that this event happened again. This time, it happened after the resurrection and after Jesus appeared to the disciples. For some reason, a few of the disciples were at the Sea of Galilee again. While they were there, Peter decided to fish and the others joined him. (I often wonder if he went out because it was relaxing and a way to pass the time, or if he was reverting to his old career.) Nevertheless, their fishing was fruitless: they didn’t catch anything. Then Jesus arrived (but they didn’t recognize Him). He asked them if they had caught any fish and they replied that they hadn’t. He instructed them to cast their net on the right side where they’d find some. When they did, like the first time, they caught so many fish they couldn’t bring it all in.

Why would Jesus do this again? In that moment, before sending His disciples out to finish the work of the kingdom (Acts 1:7), He was reminding them that He is the source of power and authority. They would not be successful without Him. They could not, dared not, try to finish the work on their own.

Have we been trying to fish without Jesus? Do we still depend on Him for the things we do as a church? Or do we think we can handle the rest of the work on our own? It seems plain to me: we need to let Jesus be the foundation of our worship, our ministries, our evangelism, and every other part of Christianity. We need Jesus back in Christianity.

Proof in the Fruit: Evidence of the Spirit

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I had the opportunity back in college, to visit several different denominations during their worship. I had a wonderful time worshipping with each of them, but one in particular really stuck out to me. It was different than I was used to, but even more, it raised a question I had never considered before. Did I have the Holy Spirit in my life? Is it even possible to know if I had the Spirit? And if I could know, what would be the proof?

God reveals the difference between the life led by the Spirit and the life void of the Spirit. Notice what was told to Saul as he was anointed king, “Then the Spirit of the LORD will rush upon you, and you will prophesy with them and be turned into another man” (1 Samuel 10:6). Here is the foundation of a Spirit-filled life: you will be changed. When the Holy Spirit comes into your life, it will never be the same.

Of course, some might argue that the prophesying was the proof. What about Jesus’ warning that there would be false prophets in the last days? Prophesying, by itself, could not be proof if there will be both true and false prophets. Instead, like we just read in 1 Samuel, Jesus said in Matthew 7:15–18 that there would be a difference in the fruit. The proof of a tree is in its fruit; the proof of the Spirit is also in its fruit.

Image by Maja Petric

So what does this different fruit look like? Galatians 5:19–21 shows us a glimpse of our natural fruit (it’s not pretty). Unfortunately, what this passage describes is the natural growth from a life of sin. It is the result of an unchanged life.

The Fruit of the Spirit

We will not follow both our own desires and instincts if the Spirit’s leading. The two desire opposite things—they are in conflict with each other (Galatians 5:17). So when God sends His Spirit into your life, a change begins, which means different fruit. Instead of the fruit of our sinful nature, we now see new fruit in our lives:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5: 22, 23).

Notice, these are all about character. They cannot be faked. In addition, they all have something in common: they are not conditional. Let me explain.

The first fruit mentioned is love. The love from the world says, I will love you if you love me back, or if you are lovable, or if you give me a reason to love you. But this is agape love—love without conditions. We don’t have to be loved back or have a reason. As the Spirit dwells in us we will love. Period.

Then there is joy. Joy is not happiness—happiness varies with the circumstances. Isaiah 58:14 says that we find our joy in the Lord. Therefore, this joy is not based on what is going on around us, it is based on the presence of the Spirit.

Peace. The Greek word defines this as “freedom from anxiety and inner turmoil.” We may find a type of peace by going to a special solitary place away from all the turmoil. But this peace is freedom from inner turmoil and anxiety—regardless of what is going on around you!

Patience. Sometimes we credit ourselves as patient because we refrain from jumping lines at the supermarket. While this is a good start, notice it’s definition: “emotional calm in the face of provocation or misfortune without complaint or irritation.” Once again, this is not simply being patient when the conditions are right.

These are just a few examples, I could continue with kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Like each of the others before, the idea behind them is that they are present in the person’s life regardless of the outside conditions.

These are the Fruit of the Spirit: character traits that do not depend on circumstances. These are the real proof of the Spirit in your life.

A Changed Life

The proof of God’s Spirit in your life has never been one of the gifts, or some extravagant show. The proof of God’s Spirit is a changed life. When the Spirit is at work in your life you will not remain who you used to be. You’ll find yourself more loving, more joyful, more patient, more kind. You’ll tend to be more generous and faithful. You’ll becoming more gentle and have more self control.

Frankly, if you are the same now as you were before you met Christ, then the Spirit hasn’t been allowed to work in your life. While it is true that God accepts us where we are and how we are, He will never leave us as He finds us! This is the work of sanctification—the process of being made back into His image.

We can be sure that if the Spirit of God is in us, we will be changed. We will be changed to be more like Jesus. Do you want to know if the Spirit is in your life? Look for His fruit. That is the proof. It can also be a picture of your future.

Finish the Race!

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I stood there on the starting blocks ready for the sound of the starter’s pistol. Glancing to either side, I found myself in the company of other boys my age, all eager for the race to begin. I was representing my school’s team in a track-and-field event. My first event of the day was the 800-yard dash.

Photo by Tirza van Dijk

The pistol shot rang and I took off. I quickly broke off from the pack and took an early lead. By the time I finished my first lap, I was more than a quarter of a lap ahead.

Before you think I was just that awesome, I should back up a bit. I hadn’t originally trained for the 800-yard dash. At the beginning of the school year, I was actually placed in the 200-yard dash. I was a good sprinter. Then, just three weeks before the event, I was moved into the 800-yard category because our original runner was injured. So, while I had trained to do one 200 yard lap as fast as I could, in the 800 yard dash I would have four laps. I didn’t have long to train for the extra laps. Therefore, my early lead would not last long. And it didn’t.

As I neared the finish of my second lap I was more than a half a lap ahead, but I was really tired. My lungs were burning and my legs felt like rubber. I tried to keep my pace, but my energy was spent. It wasn’t long before the rest of the pack caught up… and passed. By that point, I’m not even sure you could call what I was doing a jog, it was barely a fast walk, but I pressed on.

Rounding the turn to finish my third lap, I looked up at the crowd, hoping to find some encouragement. Instead, I found many of the spectators laughing and pointing—at me. Even my coach was laughing. He was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. I was devastated.

Ready to Quit

I began to wonder why I should keep running. I didn’t ask for the 800; I wasn’t prepared for the 800. It seemed unfair. As I fast-walked my way pass the starting line, finishing my third lap, I longingly looked at the benches on the inside of the track. I wanted to quit.

Then I heard a familiar voice yelling from the infield. It wasn’t my coach, it was my best friend. He was cheering me on. Oh, to have a friend cheering you on! I did my best to ignore the laughter from the crowd and focused on his encouragement.

I would love to tell you that I got a second wind, charged off, overtaking my competitors, and won the race. But I didn’t. No, I was so far behind that I was only 50 yards into my last lap when everyone else was crossing the finish line. For several minutes it was only me on that track. There was nothing graceful about my efforts anymore, I just wanted to finish.

Completely exhausted, I finally crossed the finish line. My friend, and a few other teammates, ran up to congratulate me. I didn’t place—not even close—but I finished. I finished a race that was much larger than I was prepared for. I may not have won a medal that day, but I did not give up. And as I’ve learned, for much of life it is winning just to finish.

Running the Race Set Before Us

This is even more true when it comes to our spiritual life. Our journey with Jesus is like a race. It’s not one we are necessarily prepared for though. Hebrews 12:1–3 gives us great advice on how to finish the race.

Let go of what entangles you. How well could you race with your legs tangled in rope? Not at all. Just like any other area of life we must see what might get in the way of reaching our goal, and let go of it. Want to be successful at that amazing job that starts early in the morning? Then you might need to let go of your strong desire to sleep in. Want to be successful in losing weight? Then you may need to let go of the donuts. Want to have eternal life? Then you will have to get rid of the things that get in the way of your relationship with Jesus.

Keep your eyes on Jesus. Jesus is the reason we start the race and He’s also the reason we will finish. You must not listen to any who might mock you or try to discourage—keep your eyes on Jesus. Fortunately, when we choose to follow Christ, we run the race with a compassionate Coach and a faithful cheering section. So tune out the naysayers and listen to His encouragement: “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Don’t give up! The race may be harder than you originally thought it would be, but keep going. It is worth it to finish. In case we might be tempted to quit, Paul reminds us what is waiting at the finish line: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7).

You may be tired and ready to quit, but do not give up! In this race, finishing is winning. You started with Jesus, stay with Jesus!